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Animal Crackers What do you call spiders who have just married? What was the tortoise doing on the road? What was the tortoise doing on the firing range? Getting shelled. What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? What do you get if you cross a cow, a sheep and a baby goat? The milky bar kid. Why do elephants paint their toenails red? So they can hide in cherry trees. How do you know if elephants have been in the fridge? Footprints in the butter. How do you know if the elephants are still in the fridge? You can't close the door. How do you know if elephants have made love in your garden? Binbags on the lawn. What's pink and hard? A pig with a flick knife. What's a dogs favourite part of a tree? The bark. Which bird always succeeds? My dog has no nose. How does he smell. Awful. How do you stop a skunk smelling? Why are fish easy to weigh ? Because they carry their own scales. Where do cats go on holiday? The Canary Islands. What do you call a leopards who baths everyday? Spottless, What do you get if you cross a centipede with a parrot? A walkie-talkie. |